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Your time is near, the mission's clear, it's later than we think

Before you slip into the night, you'll want something to drink

Steal away before the dawn, and bring us back good news

But if you've tread in primal soup, please wipe it from your shoes


Just then a porthole pirate scourged the evening with his cry

And sanctuary bugs deprived the monkey of its thigh

A dust arose and clogged my nose before I could blink twice

Despite the stuff that bubbled up, I gave some last advice:


The flesh from Satan's dogs will make the rudiments of gruel

Deduct the carrots from your pay you worthless swampy fool


Exploding then through fields and fen and swimming in the mire

The septic maiden's gargoyle tooth demented me with fire

I drifted where the current chose afloat upon my back

And if perchance a newt slimed by, I'd stuff it in my sack


Soon I felt a bubble form, somewhere below my skin

But with handy spine of hedgehog I removed the force within

Suzie then removed her mask and caused a mighty stir

The angry mob responded taking turns at grabbing her


The foggy cavern's musty grime appeared within my palm

I snatched Rick's fork to scrape it off with deadly icy calm

[Alternate lyrics for above verse:

The brothel wife then grabbed a knife and slashed me on the tongue

I turned the blade back on the bitch and dropped her in the dung]


The crowd meanwhile had taken Sue and used her like a rag

To mop the slime from where the slug had slithered with the bag

In summing up, the moral seems a little bit obscure...


Give the director a serpent deflector

a mudrat detector, a ribbon reflector

a cushion convector, a pitcher of nectar *

a virile dissector,a hormone collector

Whatever you do, take care of your shoes


* Alternate lyrics include "a penile erector" and "a picture of Nectar